Hi Readers — It’s summer! Time for kids to run around and ride their bikes and play like puppies till the moon shoos them home.
Unless, that is, they’re living in the Eagle Place Townhomes in
Lafayette, Colorado. There, no children are allowed to play outside,
unsupervised, until age 16.
That’s right. No kids. Outside. Without an adult. Period.
That’s the new, written rule at the 60-home development and can you
guess the reason given? Of course you can! You can recite it in your
sleep! Quoth the property manager: “We just want them to be safe.”
This article, in Boulder’s paper, the Daily Camera, details the
“ghost town” the development has become. Said one dad, “It feels like
prison.” Another said he has received letters from the management
company saying his 5 and 8 year old kids can’t ride their scooters OR
play on the grass between units OR play on the property’s playground
without an adult present. Before this new rule, up to 30 kids would get
together and play.
Playing on a playground? Imagine that.
Eagle Place management even forbid a 15-year-old from reading a book
on his porch swing. Talk about proactive danger management. His
12-year-old sister babysits in the complex. Now she is forbidden to
take her young wards outside to play.
The impetus for all this seems to be twofold: One, management says
that children are vandalizing the property. And two, recently a child
got his foot stuck in an air conditioning unit and his parents couldn’t
be reached. Instead, 911 was called. For this reason, management wrote
in a letter to the residents, “Each time we find a child unattended
they will be instructed to go home until an adult can accompany them
outside.”
(The letter also said, “Children bring such joy to our lives and we
all love seeing them outside playing in their carefree world.” Then
comes the “but.”)
As bizarre as all this sounds, it is not the first time I’ve heard
of such draconian laws. Other parents at other developments are dealing
with them, too – and I’m not talking about retiree developments that
specifically want nothing to do with kids. I’m talking plain old,
all-American neighborhoods.
What’s terrifying is that this is what “all-American” may become:
Neighborhoods so safe – at least from law suits – that the kids are
locked inside or shuttled from supervised activity to supervised
activity.
Of course, that sounds a lot like what America is becoming even
without bylaws like the ones at Eagle Place. So much for our soaring
spirit of adventure. The Eagle has, indeed, landed. It’s inside,
playing videogames and eating a Fruit Roll-Up. – Lenore
There is a P.S. to this story. The very next day Lenore reported that the Eagle Place Townhomes had rescinded the ban due to pressure brought to bear by the media exposure. Turns out requiring parental supervision for children at all times isn't even legal! So now Eagle Place is just "suggesting" it.
Here's Lenore's postcript:
Which, of course, is still insane. Still
cover-your-you-know-what. Still a weird, sickening sign of the times —
suggesting that every person under age 16 SHOULD have an adult by their
side at all times. But it is LESS sickening than it was, which is why
this Outrage of the Week has been demoted to, “Weird Sickening Sign of
the Times of the Week.” Woo hoo! — Lenore
Every time I think nothing can surprise me anymore I'm jolted yet again. I'm afraid to wonder what's next...
